This toxic phrase is stopping you from accomplishing your goals
The words we use are so important
Hi friends!
Recently someone asked if I had checked out the Netflix show, Bridgerton. I’ve noticed that since quarantine, there seems to be a weekly new show that I just have to watch. And somehow they all seem to be about British royalty 🤔
“No, I don’t have time…er, that is, I haven’t made time to watch it yet.”
I almost slipped up. For years now, I’ve tried not to say that I don’t have time, but rather, I haven’t made time.
This one change of phrase - saying ‘I haven’t made time’ instead of saying ‘I don’t have time’ - has changed everything about how I live my life.
We all have the same amount of hours in the day. And we all have non-negotiable, this-HAS-to-happen-today items on our list. I’m guessing that leaves us all with at least 12 hours a day that we completely control.
Think about it. When someone asks you if you’ve done something that they’ve done (read a book, watched a show, visited a coffee shop, played a game) and you say you don’t have time, you’re insinuating that you’re doing more important things than they are. It’s kind of rude if you think about it.
“No, I don’t have time for that silliness, I’m busy with more important things. You’re lucky you don’t have many important things to do in your life.”
That’s not what we mean, of course. But we’re all doing non-critical things with our time, we’re just choosing how to do those things a bit differently.
I find people say this to me often when they ask about my goal of reading 36 books a year. I often hear something like, “Oh, I want to read more books but I just don’t have time.” Hmmmm, you don’t?
Look, I’m not trying to say that I’m busier than everyone else, but I’m confident that I’m least as busy as most people. I’m running multiple companies, writing my third book, producing a twice-a-week podcast, and I have five children at home.
So how do I read that many books? Because it’s important to me to do so, and therefore, I choose to do it over other things (those things seem to mostly be not watching British royalty TV shows).
So it’s not that someone else doesn’t have time to read books, it’s that it is clearly not that important to them. (And in my case, that’s fine, reading isn’t for everyone.)
My big ask for you today
Think about the things that you really want to do, but just haven’t gotten to yet. Change the way you talk about those things. Start saying, if only to yourself, that you aren’t making time to do them. Because then what you’re really saying is, “but I can if I want to”.
Thanks for reading! And please consider sharing this with someone who you think might benefit from it.
Recent podcasts
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SpunMafia #9: Early days and epic stories of my first company, Spunlogic: Podcast + YouTube
Hala Moddelmog on purpose, leadership, and her amazing career (w/ Alex Gonzalez): Podcast + YouTube
Ben & Jerry’s head of Activism, Jabari Paul, shares how he ended up at an ice cream company trying to save the world: Podcast + YouTube
An interview with Jen Hatmaker and Erin Arnheim: Podcast + YouTube
I'd love for you to check out either of my books: The 5-Day Turnaround + The Crisis Turnaround. They're a heck of a deal on Amazon right now ;)
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