What people get wrong about positivity
And 5 ways to be a more positive person
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my positive nature. Probably because of what a friend texted me earlier this week.
He texted me a photo of his baby. And if you know anything about me, you know I’m a baby person. If you bring a baby near me, I’m going to try to hold it. (And I’m possibly the world’s greatest swaddler, if you ever need some help.)
I texted something about being jealous that he has a baby in the house. And he wrote back:
He’s kinda right. Most of the time (ok, almost all of the time), I’m a happy person. I’m a positive, glass is pretty much full kinda guy. I think I get it from a combination of my mom and being an entrepreneur. Mostly from my mom, though ❤️
Here’s what people get wrong about being positive
A lot of people assume when someone says they’re a positive person, that their head is stuck in the clouds and they believe everything is always just going to magically work out. When I share that I’m generally a positive person, oftentimes someone will reply by sharing that they’re a ‘realist’.
Yo, being positive and living in reality are not mutually exclusive.
I know things go wrong. In my world (entrepreneurship), things go wrong more than they go right. The key is how you react to those challenges. You can be rooted in reality and see things for what they are, and still react positively even when you experience a setback.
You’ll never hear me say: “Oh, things will just work out.” Never. I believe you have to plan for things to work out. And plan for when they don’t work out. You have to focus on your dreams and put goals in place and work your tail off to get it done. Nothing ‘just works out’ unless you make it so.
What I am positive about is that if something doesn’t work out, I’ll learn from the experience and make the necessary changes to find even greater success next time.
By this point in my life — 44 years old for another day, five children, with two businesses built and sold, and currently overseeing a handful of businesses split between for- and non-profits — I have developed an extremely fast turnaround (pun intended) ability. When an unfortunate thing happens in my life, personally or professionally, I can absorb the pain of the problem and, in a matter of minutes, start to see how this will actually lead to a better result in the long run.
Join me on the positive train!
It’s really not that hard to start changing your point of view. And I can attest to the way that being a positive person can create a truly amazing life. Here are some ways I recommend you start trying to shift to a more positive outlook:
Remember, it’s about the journey. Individual wins and losses are simply a part of the journey you’re on. The game is never over, so don’t throw it all away because you missed a 3-pointer. Get back on defense and remember you’re still in the game!
Zoom out. When something bad happens, step back and view the problem in the grand scheme of things. Is this really something that is so terrible, or is it simply another speed bump you’re experiencing on your journey?
Embrace the learning. The only way we truly learn is to make mistakes or have hardships. When something goes wrong, take a minute to understand what you learned and how you’ll be stronger/smarter/better going forward. And only make new mistakes.
Develop a quick turnaround ability. It’s important to take a moment when something unfortunate happens to feel the pain and reconcile with it. I’m not suggesting you don’t absorb it and recognize it for what it is. Something didn’t work out, and that’s a bummer. But the more quickly you can begin to imagine why that pain will actually lead you to more success in the future, the faster you can move past it and get back to work.
Eat some ice cream. Ok, this one is just for fun, but doing something that makes you truly happy after a big loss is a quick way to forget about it and start moving forward. Treat yourself :)
I really hope you’re able to start becoming a more positive person. You deserve it.
Jeff
Recent podcasts
I produce a weekly podcast called, Begin the Begin. I hope you'll consider subscribing.
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Interview with Terence Lester, founder of Love Beyond Walls: Podcast + YouTube
SpunMafia Episode #10: The Ins and Outs of the Acquisition Process (with Bruce Eatroff and Raghu Kakarala): Podcast + YouTube
Jay Bailey on his journey to do good and his search for significance: Podcast + YouTube
I'd love for you to check out either of my books: The 5-Day Turnaround + The Crisis Turnaround. They're a heck of a deal on Amazon right now ;)
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And remember, always lead with purpose!